Billy: My man, Vincent Chase. Wick was right, you're very fuckable in person.
Eric: You can call me "E."
Billy: E. Is that your thing, being on time? I won Sundance at 24, what do you gotta say about that kind of arrival, huh?
Eric: You should do a remake of that, Vince.
Vince: No. No one should ever remake that movie. It was perfect.
Billy: You'd let them redo the Mona Lisa, huh, "E?"
Drama: Billy! Yo, am I gonna be happy with myself in the cut?
Billy: Happiness is a state of mind, Johnny. Now, uh... let me get your place. I like your girl better, okay?
Shauna: I'm sure it's great. Have you shown it to anybody?
Billy: Me, my editor, and my mother.
Shauna: Yeah? What'd your mother think?
Billy: She thought it was garbage, but she's a fuckin moron.
Turtle: I got a hot song for Queens Boulevard.
Billy: Thanks but no thanks. I'm scoring the whole thing myself with a sitar.
Billy: I'm not gonna let those douchebags Aquaman-ify my movie!
Eric: Billy, where are you? We're going to come see you.
Billy: Meet me at my girl's. I gotta go home and tell her I lost the rent money again.
Vince: Walsh, what is this, your house?
Billy: No, I'm house sitting for my girl's folks. They made a fortune off ginseng and kombucha drinks. They won't let her see a dime of it though. I'm just praying they drop dead before they raise the estate tax.
Billy: I like your newfound balls, Suit.
Vince: Hey come on, Billy, what do you say? You wanna make a movie?
Billy: I'm making movies, Vince. My way.
Eric: Your way? They're calling you Wally in there.
Billy: Wally Balls is my alias. It's catchy, ain't it? And they gave me a 25-picture deal after seeing me shoot only one scene. Billy Walsh is going to bring the 1970s-type class back to porn, and, the wide bush.
Billy: I need 30. I can't do it for a dollar less than that.
Nicky: I don't have any more money for you, big guy.
Billy: Oh, come on, you probably got the cash out in your car, trust fund baby. Now just pony it up.
Nicky: Stop calling me trust fund baby, you fucking orangutan.
Billy: Making a movie is like going to war. And as we've all learned, you don't go to war underprepared and underfinanced.
Billy: What attracted me to this project? Well, that's easy... it was the blood.
Billy: I'm telling you all right now that if another cell phone rings while professional artists are trying to work, the person responsible for that distraction will be dragged into town and sold as a drug mule.
Billy: "Movie?" You know, I hate the word "movie." I don't make movies, I make films.
Billy: Why's that door red?
Set Decorator: I thought it popped.
Billy: Popped? How am I going to see blood splatter on a red door, fuckwad? Change it.
Ari: Wow. Cuttin the old fashion way, huh?
Billy: Why fuck a woman with a vibrator when you've got a dick, right, Suit?
Billy: What, does Turtle check your balls for lipstick when you get home or something?