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S07E08, Sniff Sniff Gang Bang

Drama: I move so good, Alex, I should be on Dancing with the Stars.
Turtle: And if you were a star, you probably would be.

Mrs. Ari: Read it to me.
Ari: Come on.
Mrs. Ari: Fine. I'll read it. "After a staff meeting, Ari threw a stapler at the wall and screamed at a fellow agent that he needed to 'climb back inside his mother's vagina and cook a little longer?'"
Ari: That's funny.

Lloyd: I always imagined a double teaming would be more fun than that.

Barbara: And what are we working on today?
Ari: Kissing our employees' asses so no work gets done and we don't get sued.
Barbara: Are you being sarcastic?
Ari: Don't question my tone.

Ari: Why don't we start the day off with some hugs and kisses? Everyone except for you and me, Lloyd. That ain't happening.
Barbara: Ari!
Ari: What? I thought it was very courteous of me to not want to get him excited.
Lloyd: Don't make me retain counsel, Ari.

Ari: Listen, sweetheart, you want to call and butter me up with some sympathy and then drop this on me because you think that I'm down and will kowtow to anything? Let me explain this to you in a metaphor you will understand: I am sure there are guys who have fingered you in the ass long enough that eventually you let them fuck it. And now you think you've got me bent over with your finger in my ass, thinkin I'm gonna let you do the same. I am not like you, Dana! You will not fuck me in the ass!

Scotty: Vince, these porn girls... even if they seem like they are okay, they're actually broken. All of them. You know? And I don't think you can give her money in order to control her. You'll probably send her off on an anal bang bender just to prove you wrong.

Scotty: What does E say?
Vince: I don't think Eric Murphy's rules of dating apply to a porn star.

Attorney: Alison Brod.
Ari: Doesn't ring a bell.
Attorney: She worked in your lit department four years ago. Alleges you suggested she have her cunt removed so as to decrease her cuntiness.

Ari: You know, if this was a week ago, I'd flog you with an extension cord.

Jeffrey: Come on. I am no stranger to scandal.
Ari: What scandal have you been involved with?
Jeffrey: Well, there was that little incident on Arrested Development. If you haven't heard about it, there's no reason to hear about it now.

Sasha: Thanks. I'm not used to getting apologies.
Vince: I'm not used to giving em.

Billy: Vince and your body double down the hall there were doing a little sniffle sniffle at the party the other night.
Eric: Come on, you're lying.
Billy: Just don't let it get back to me. All I do is try to avoid conflict.

Ari: I don't want to break anymore promises, so I won't make them.

Sasha: Get me a part with really cool superpowers.
Vince: Oh yeah? What kind of superpowers would you want?
Sasha: I want to be able to swallow anything.