Best Entourage Quotes, Our Favorites

Although Entourage is categorized as both a comedy and a drama, the very best Entourage quotes are of the humorous persuasion. And while two or three characters may deliver a vast majority of the top Entourage quotes, the writers made sure to give a little love to all of the show’s characters throughout the series’ run.

Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer.

From S01E01, Entourage (Pilot), Turtle

Ari: They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch?

From Ari Gold, S01E01, Entourage (Pilot)

Ari: You a communist? Or are you a socialist? Or didn't they teach you the difference at Pepperoni U?

From Ari Gold, S01E02, The Review

Eric: The only person you ever loved is yourself.
Drama: What's not to love?

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E03, Talk Show

Eric: We had breakup sex, all right?
Drama: Breakup sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean, you know... you have sex and then that's it. You say "goodbye."
Drama: That's the only kind of sex I have.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E03, Talk Show

Turtle: I thought he quit.
Drama: Cigarettes, not pussy.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E03, Talk Show

Vince: I told you. I don't wanna see the movie. I can't watch myself again.
Drama: I love watching myself.
Eric: Too bad the audience doesn't.

From Eric "E" Murphy, S01E04, Date Night

Ari: I had video sex with an Ecuadorian girl this morning.
Eric: I hope she was 18. Federal offense if not.
Ari: She had big teeth and a sarong. That's all I remember, baby.

From Ari Gold, S01E04, Date Night

Justine: I think I want you to be my first.
Vince: Really?
Justine: Yeah, but you're really gonna have to work for it.
Vince: Work? Come on. I got into this business so I don't have to work.

From S01E04, Date Night, Vincent Chase

Turtle: Where's Tanya?
Drama: Doing push-ups in the mens bathroom for all I know. I'm done with that girl.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E04, Date Night

Turtle: Do you guys not see the problem here? Vince said she was staying a couple of nights, all right? A couple's two.
Drama: Except in Utah.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa

Josh: Yanks are playing the Angels Tuesday. I've got the company box if you wanna roll with. Got the gals from The L Word coming. Trust me, they're only acting.

From Josh Weinstein, S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa

Drama: How'd she look?
Turtle: Good enough to eat I bet, huh?
Eric: Yeah.
Drama: Too bad Vince can't eat animal products anymore.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa

Drama: You didn't call bank shot.
Turtle: I did too. You didn't hear me.
Drama: You got to learn to project.
Turtle: You know, you hire a vocal coach and you become a real asshole.

From S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa, Turtle

Fiona: Come on, there's plenty of protein in mung-beans.
Ari: No, no, I'm talking about real protein. I mean like man protein, you know, from the flesh of slaughtered animals. I wanna have war paint and I want blood dripping. That's what I need.

From Ari Gold, S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa

Fiona: Have you seen a video of a slaughterhouse, Ari?
Vince: Meat is murder.
Ari: Even broccoli screams when you rip it from the ground.

From Ari Gold, S01E05, The Script and the Sherpa

Ari: When I'm done with you, you're going to be repping sideshow freaks. You need "Jojo the Dog-Faced Bitch Boy?" Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface.

From Ari Gold, S01E06, Busey and the Beach

Billy: My man, Vincent Chase. Wick was right, you're very fuckable in person.

From Billy Walsh, S01E07, The Scene