Best Entourage Quotes, Our Favorites

Although Entourage is categorized as both a comedy and a drama, the very best Entourage quotes are of the humorous persuasion. And while two or three characters may deliver a vast majority of the top Entourage quotes, the writers made sure to give a little love to all of the show’s characters throughout the series’ run.

Turtle: Wow, Drama. You swore on your career?
Drama: I had my balls crossed.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S08E08, The End

Turtle: What can you do on the price?
Realtor: You haven't even asked what the price is yet.
Turtle: I'm sure I need it reduced.

From S08E07, Second to Last, Turtle

Ari: I simply wanted to take it out of the company. Borrow it.
Barbara: Eleven million dollars? I know you don't visit the accounting department very often, but cash flow is not ideal right now.
Ari: Then float me. You probably have that much in your Depends.

From Ari Gold, S08E06, The Big Bang

Turtle: Says here Sophia Lear got a first from Oxford.
Vince: What's a first?
Turtle: I don't know. Gotta be better than a second.

From S08E05, Motherfucker, Turtle

Eric: Who's the last person you signed, Scott? The third ballerina from the left on The Black Swan?
Scotty: Yeah. She got signed and I got sucked.

From S08E05, Motherfucker, Scotty Lavin

Drama: Call him up and try to smooth it over.
Eric: I did call.
Drama: What did he say?
Eric: He said his foreskin was more supportive than we are.

From Eric "E" Murphy, S08E05, Motherfucker

Mrs. Ari: What, you think that Bobby wouldn't tell me that you were there on a date?
Ari: Well, I guess the bro code's out the window when you're fucking someone's wife.

From Ari Gold, S08E04, Whiz Kid

Ari: Bobby, why don't you go back to hiding in your kitchen before I shove a shiitake mushroom up your ass?

From Ari Gold, S08E04, Whiz Kid

Katie: You're cute. You'll get your groove back.
Ari: Stella did, right?
Katie: Who?
Ari: It... doesn't matter.

From Ari Gold, S08E03, One Last Shot

Ari: You still wanna be head of the TV department?
Lloyd: I would let you pull out all my fingernails with pliers for the honor.

From Lloyd Lee, S08E02, Out with a Bang

Scotty: Did you girls come together? If not, you want to?

From S08E01, Home Sweet Home, Scotty Lavin

Christina: Ari, it's 9:15. You asked me to do an hour.
Ari: Please play a little bit longer. I know I can't pay your fee, but I'll give you the deed to my house.
Christina: That's still not gonna cover it. I want your Lakers seats for the Playoffs. All of them.
Ari: Done! I'll tell you what. You give me a Grammy-worthy performance and I'll get Kobe Bryant to sing at your birthday.

From Ari Gold, S07E10, Lose Yourself

Ari: You're supposed to support your husband no matter what.
Mrs. Ari: Even if you're making a complete jackass out of yourself?
Ari: Especially then!

From Ari Gold, S07E10, Lose Yourself

Scotty: Are we still not talking?
Eric: Go fuck yourself.
Scotty: Wanna email me that so I don't forget it?

From S07E09, Porn Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, Scotty Lavin

Attorney: Alison Brod.
Ari: Doesn't ring a bell.
Attorney: She worked in your lit department four years ago. Alleges you suggested she have her cunt removed so as to decrease her cuntiness.

From Ari Gold, S07E08, Sniff Sniff Gang Bang

Mrs. Ari: Read it to me.
Ari: Come on.
Mrs. Ari: Fine. I'll read it. "After a staff meeting, Ari threw a stapler at the wall and screamed at a fellow agent that he needed to 'climb back inside his mother's vagina and cook a little longer?'"
Ari: That's funny.

From Ari Gold, S07E08, Sniff Sniff Gang Bang

Barbara: I don't think you should talk to her, Ari.
Ari: I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.

From Ari Gold, S07E07, Tequila and Coke

Billy: You seem angry, Drama.
Drama: I've always been, Billy. Only now I'm drunk, too.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S07E06, Hair