Best Entourage Quotes, Our Favorites
Although Entourage is categorized as both a comedy and a drama, the very best Entourage quotes are of the humorous persuasion. And while two or three characters may deliver a vast majority of the top Entourage quotes, the writers made sure to give a little love to all of the show’s characters throughout the series’ run.
Lloyd: So why am I going?
Ari: Because he's a queen just like you. He's never had a straight agent, and if I'm going to be his first, I have to show him that I am a friend to the gay man.
Lloyd: But you're not a friend to the gay man, Ari.
Ari: Lloyd, this is the big one. So just go grab your best dress and know that today your love of cock is a huge asset to this company.
Ari: What the fuck are you wearing?
Lloyd: I'm trying out new looks. This one's my Andre 3000. You like?
Ari: No I don't. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fuckin axel over to the phone and try Cameron again?
Ari: I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her that I'm going to start a website. I'm gonna take a full-page ad out in the LA Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called imahollywoodexecutivewhore dot com and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a fucking callback.
Dr. Marcus: I don't think that Vincent Chase should determine where you go and don't go in this town.
Ari: He doesn't determine -
Mrs. Ari: He's been in a funk since he got fired. And then, of course, there was the birthday party incident...
Ari: Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers game cause they were playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate - how to answer a question without a question - Basic Humanity 101. Which, I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that could either fix it or make her a mute. But now to turn around and gang up on me - I have work to do! I have hundreds of clients to deal with! And just so we're clear, I don't care about any of them. They're all just a number, like wife number one and therapist number seven. Good day!
Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me, Ari?
Ari: Only my cock and my asshole, Lloyd.
Ari: Listen, Emily, honey... what do you know about Aquaman?
Emily: That he fights crime underwater. Bye, Ari.
Drama: Turtle, if you can't get laid here, turn your dick in.
Eric: You were so excited.
Vince: It's cause Amanda was excited. She got me excited. She knows how to sell.
Drama: I'd buy diseased fish from her.
Turtle: I'd eat it.
Billy: You seem angry, Drama.
Drama: I've always been, Billy. Only now I'm drunk, too.
Ari: You shitty dime store therapist! A man's life is on the line here and all you give a fuck about is beating some stupid club record? That will do what for you? Give you five minutes of pleasure while you fuck your underpaid emasculated husband tonight? How the fuck does he afford this place, anyway? Isn't he a guidance counselor at a high school?
Josh: Frank. Darabont. Vince a fan?
Eric: Who isn't?
Josh: Yeah. Shawshank almost makes me wish I did prison time.
Ari: You throw a lot of Jew guilt for a Chinaman.
Turtle: My point is we should have a hot cleaning lady who fucks.
Eric: Well, then she'd be a hooker.
Turtle: Yeah. A hooker who cleans.
Barbara: I don't think you should talk to her, Ari.
Ari: I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.
Ari: We should just tell them to go to a hotel. I mean, they can afford it.
Mrs. Ari: What a difference six hours makes. When I said that, you said it's only one night. "Shit, you could do that in a Mexican jail and come out almost as clean as you went in," I believe was the quote.
Ari: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but ever since you got here, I have not been able to take my eyes off your ass. I mean, it is - it's the perfect shape! It's like God came down, hand-crafted it, put it on a little silver tray, and hand-delivered it to my man Scotty.
Eric: Do you think the night before a Mormon wedding the guy says "how am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"
Drama: Hey, I've been married. Lovin one girl right is tough enough. Lovin eight would be impossible.
Drama: We got a sure thing running in the fifth.
Eric: How do you know, Drama?
Drama: Because I know the pony's granddad. And in horse racing, as in life, a good lineage is the surest way to predict a fine performance.
Turtle: Well how come you're from Vince's lineage and all your performances suck?