Best Entourage Quotes, Our Favorites

Eric: Lloyd, it's Eric Murphy. I need to talk to Ari.
Lloyd: Eric, he told me if I disturbed him he'd chop me up Benihana style.

From Lloyd Lee, S02E04, An Offer Refused

Mrs. Ari: I ask for one hour out of the day for his undivided attention. And I can't even have that.
Ari: You can have it if you wanna live in Agoura fucking Hills. And go to group therapy. But if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, and you want a country club membership, and you want nine weeks a year at a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday!

From Ari Gold, S02E04, An Offer Refused

Ari: What the fuck are you wearing?
Lloyd: I'm trying out new looks. This one's my Andre 3000. You like?
Ari: No I don't. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fuckin axel over to the phone and try Cameron again?

From Ari Gold, S02E05, Neighbors

Ari: I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her that I'm going to start a website. I'm gonna take a full-page ad out in the LA Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called imahollywoodexecutivewhore dot com and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a fucking callback.

From Ari Gold, S02E05, Neighbors

Ari: Listen, Emily, honey... what do you know about Aquaman?
Emily: That he fights crime underwater. Bye, Ari.

From Emily, S02E05, Neighbors

Drama: Turtle, if you can't get laid here, turn your dick in.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S02E05, Neighbors

Turtle: My point is we should have a hot cleaning lady who fucks.
Eric: Well, then she'd be a hooker.
Turtle: Yeah. A hooker who cleans.

From S02E06, Chinatown, Turtle

Eric: Do you think the night before a Mormon wedding the guy says "how am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"
Drama: Hey, I've been married. Lovin one girl right is tough enough. Lovin eight would be impossible.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S02E07, The Sundance Kids

Eric: Well, what are you hearing about the Gosling and Franco movies? They good?
Ari: I hear that they're great. I hear that every movie at Sundance is the best movie that was ever made.

From Ari Gold, S02E07, The Sundance Kids

Drama: You know, Cassie, you've inspired me. I'm not gonna join the Corps, per se, but I think when I get home I'm gonna log in some time downtown at the soup kitchen.
Turtle: You know, every time I see a homeless person, I cry. Seriously.

From S02E07, The Sundance Kids, Turtle

Turtle: We accidentally crossed swords.
Eric: Eww.
Vince: Really? Were there any women there at least?
Turtle: Yeah, dick, it was a threesome, okay? It's no biggie. Crossing is an occupational hazard.

From S02E07, The Sundance Kids, Vincent Chase

Shauna: I'm sure it's great. Have you shown it to anybody?
Billy: Me, my editor, and my mother.
Shauna: Yeah? What'd your mother think?
Billy: She thought it was garbage, but she's a fuckin moron.

From Billy Walsh, S02E07, The Sundance Kids

Turtle: How do they not have Fruit Loops?
Drama: You can't get anything in Malibu because it's impossible to get deliveries.
Eric: You make it like we're in the Far East, Drama.
Drama: Trust me, I know Malibu. One second there's no Fruit Loops, the next a mudslide is slinging a 400-pound boulder through your dining room.

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S02E08, Oh, Mandy

Drama: This is kind of embarrassing. Sometimes I wake up in the morning fully tented. Any advice?
Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, at your age, consider yourself lucky.
Drama: My age? How fucking old do you think I am?

From Johnny "Drama" Chase, S02E08, Oh, Mandy

Drama: Who wants to take a ride into town with me?
Vince: Sorry, Johnny. Got a scuba lesson. Take Turtle.
Turtle: Aw, come on, Vince. I don't want to miss scuba. You know how buoyant I am.

From S02E08, Oh, Mandy, Turtle

Turtle: Yo, Rufus. Thanks for doing this so quick.
Rufus: Yeah, it was nothin. I just repoed all of this shit out of Don Johnson's house anyway. You know that motherfucker tried to pay me with signed Nash Bridges DVDs?

From Rufus, S02E08, Oh, Mandy

Turtle: You were driving when Vince was 7? How fucking old are you, Drama?
Drama: 31. Get off my ass.
Eric: 31, Drama? Yeah, in dog years maybe.

From Eric "E" Murphy, S02E09, I Love You Too

Drama: So how are those seats?
Ari: They're nosebleed. Just like you like em, right?
Drama: "Floor level or bust." That's my motto.
Eric: I thought it was, "will act for food."

From Eric "E" Murphy, S02E09, I Love You Too