Character Quotes

Billy Walsh

Billy: So, you're really gonna move back to New York?
Vince: Well, Sophia's based out of there and I can help E out. And I know Johnny and Turtle will want to be there as much as possible.
Billy: Wow, you guys are good friends. I wouldn't move west of Gower for a dude.

Drama: They'll cave.
Billy: They better. Or I'll cave your fucking face in. You cost me this job and I'll kill you. I don't mean figuratively. I'll literally gut you like a salmon steak.

Billy: You told me this little strike of yours would last 24 hours or less.
Drama: Trust me, Billy. It'll all be over soon. You just can't panic.
Billy: I have a mortgage, five kids, and no maple syrup, Drama.

Billy: An officer is gonna escort you into the bathroom, hand you a sealed cup, and watch you open it and piss into it.
Vince: How closely is he gonna watch?
Billy: Close enough to identify a freckle on your cock.

Scotty: Who's he?
Billy: He's a guy who sucks... who was forced down my throat against my wishes. And he's doing a bad Dice impression.
Phil: He's good. He's... very, very good.
Billy: He sucks and now the show sucks. And I hate everyone.

Billy: An addict, unlike most people, once they start drinking, smoking, or doing whatever it is they're addicted to... it's impossible for them to stop. The compulsion is too strong. I, myself, cannot even have one sip of beer.
Drama: Why? What would happen?
Billy: After about a week, I'd be holed up in my grandmother's house with my penis tied off looking for a vein.

Scotty: How did you get all these girls here so quickly?
Billy: I went around to a bunch of NA, AA, whatever A meetings I used to attend. Told them Vince Chase was dry and lonely.

Billy: Vince and your body double down the hall there were doing a little sniffle sniffle at the party the other night.
Eric: Come on, you're lying.
Billy: Just don't let it get back to me. All I do is try to avoid conflict.

Billy: Just imagine how your plight as a misunderstood gorilla can move countless angry men.

Eric: You still got that Pablo Escobar tattoo on your back?
Billy: Nah, I had it scraped off with a Bowie knife in a ritual smokehouse ceremony.

Drama: They love Viking Quest in France.
Billy: What the hell is Viking Quest?

Ari: It doesn't matter what any of you wish cause you are with the master of the universe. And he will deliver a sale of Medellin not to be believed.
Vince: I sure hope so.
Billy: No need to hope, Vince. This film will sell itself. Ari'll be nothing more than a marionette that shakes his head yes or no... or says "double your offer."

Billy: Somebody grab my fucking luggage!
Drama: You got a lot of bags, Billy? I like a lot of wardrobe changes too when traveling abroad.
Billy: I got one bag, Drama, you fruit cup, but I took three Ambien and I can't lift my arms.

Ari: How about a toast? To a groundbreaking day and a possibly groundbreaking movie.
Billy: Are you kissing my ass now, Snake Suit?
Vince: Oh, come on, Billy. He came through. You can't stay mad at him.
Billy: Well, I'm no longer planning on using your car as a toilet, but I'll get back to you about being my agent.

Ari: Vince stuck his neck out for you and now you are fucking him. And the studio. They are going to fuck you right back.
Billy: They can't touch me.
Ari: They can sue you and make sure that you never make a movie in this town again.
Billy: Well good thing I paint.

Billy: You mind if I use your private shitter? I just gotta piss but the one in the hallway stank like a refugee boat.

Vince: You know, Eric has the toughest job out of the three of us and he'll probably get the least amount of credit.
Billy: Yeah, but he's the smallest so he doesn't need as much credit as big people.
Eric: Then again, my ego isn't half as big as Billy's. Shit, Simon Cowell's ego isn't as big.

Billy: Vince, he hated the movie, he was wrong, and now he's trying to sabotage it no matter what it does to you.
Eric: Fuck you.
Billy: No, fuck you. You suck at your job, you got a Napoleonic complex, and I'm gonna fuck your mother if I ever meet her.