Character Quotes

Billy Walsh

Shauna: I'm sure it's great. Have you shown it to anybody?
Billy: Me, my editor, and my mother.
Shauna: Yeah? What'd your mother think?
Billy: She thought it was garbage, but she's a fuckin moron.

Billy: "Movie?" You know, I hate the word "movie." I don't make movies, I make films.

Ari: Wow. Cuttin the old fashion way, huh?
Billy: Why fuck a woman with a vibrator when you've got a dick, right, Suit?

Billy: I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but your support for my vision of this film, for allowing me to make it the right way, has taught me that artists and capitalist pigs might be able to work together after all.
Eric: I'm making very little money for a capitalist pig, Billy.
Billy: I didn't say you were good at it.

Billy: You mind if I use your private shitter? I just gotta piss but the one in the hallway stank like a refugee boat.

Ari: How about a toast? To a groundbreaking day and a possibly groundbreaking movie.
Billy: Are you kissing my ass now, Snake Suit?
Vince: Oh, come on, Billy. He came through. You can't stay mad at him.
Billy: Well, I'm no longer planning on using your car as a toilet, but I'll get back to you about being my agent.

Billy: My man, Vincent Chase. Wick was right, you're very fuckable in person.

Billy: Somebody grab my fucking luggage!
Drama: You got a lot of bags, Billy? I like a lot of wardrobe changes too when traveling abroad.
Billy: I got one bag, Drama, you fruit cup, but I took three Ambien and I can't lift my arms.

Ari: It doesn't matter what any of you wish cause you are with the master of the universe. And he will deliver a sale of Medellin not to be believed.
Vince: I sure hope so.
Billy: No need to hope, Vince. This film will sell itself. Ari'll be nothing more than a marionette that shakes his head yes or no... or says "double your offer."

Billy: I like your newfound balls, Suit.

Eric: You still got that Pablo Escobar tattoo on your back?
Billy: Nah, I had it scraped off with a Bowie knife in a ritual smokehouse ceremony.

Billy: Just imagine how your plight as a misunderstood gorilla can move countless angry men.

Billy: Vince and your body double down the hall there were doing a little sniffle sniffle at the party the other night.
Eric: Come on, you're lying.
Billy: Just don't let it get back to me. All I do is try to avoid conflict.

Vince: Hey come on, Billy, what do you say? You wanna make a movie?
Billy: I'm making movies, Vince. My way.
Eric: Your way? They're calling you Wally in there.
Billy: Wally Balls is my alias. It's catchy, ain't it? And they gave me a 25-picture deal after seeing me shoot only one scene. Billy Walsh is going to bring the 1970s-type class back to porn, and, the wide bush.

Scotty: How did you get all these girls here so quickly?
Billy: I went around to a bunch of NA, AA, whatever A meetings I used to attend. Told them Vince Chase was dry and lonely.

Billy: An addict, unlike most people, once they start drinking, smoking, or doing whatever it is they're addicted to... it's impossible for them to stop. The compulsion is too strong. I, myself, cannot even have one sip of beer.
Drama: Why? What would happen?
Billy: After about a week, I'd be holed up in my grandmother's house with my penis tied off looking for a vein.

Billy: I need 30. I can't do it for a dollar less than that.
Nicky: I don't have any more money for you, big guy.
Billy: Oh, come on, you probably got the cash out in your car, trust fund baby. Now just pony it up.
Nicky: Stop calling me trust fund baby, you fucking orangutan.

Billy: Making a movie is like going to war. And as we've all learned, you don't go to war underprepared and underfinanced.