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Character Quotes

Dana Gordon

Dana: Ari, you have one day to find me another job, or the next time I see you at The Palm, I am going to squeeze your fucking dick with a claw cracker.

Dana: What do you owe her, though? Did you fuck her or something?
Ari: I - What is the matter with you? You were the last person I was with before my wife. No one since.
Dana: Wow. That was over 20 years ago. You're actually one of the good guys, despite what they say.

Dana: I'm pushing 40. I don't have a man. I want a baby... with your sperm.
Ari: Seriously?
Dana: No. I'm just fucking with you. I need sperm with thicker hair.

Dana: I'll buy it.
Ari: You didn't even read it.
Dana: Well, that's why I'm a studio head. Because I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Dana: Would this be the script you're referring to?
Ari: What are you, going through my stuff now?
Dana: I see a script, I read it. Occupational hazard.

Ari: Don't be mad at me.
Dana: I am sad, Ari. But you're honest, so how can I be mad?

Dana: I can't believe this.
Ari: Wake up, Dana. It's real. The first big project you brought in to your new studio is in shambles.
Dana: Thanks to your writer/director, asshole. You know, if you think my last boss was vindictive, you haven't seen shit. You better find me someone approvable and you better make sure that Vince is on board. Because if I have to go in and tell Richard Wimmer that we lost a script, a director, and a star today, all of whom are your fucking clients, you can bet your ass that nobody who has ever been close enough to smell your breath will ever be welcome at this studio again.

Security Guard: Miss Gordon, I'm afraid your five minutes are up. It's time to go.
Dana: Fuck you. Put one hand on me and I scream "rape."

Ari: Dana, I love you. And if I wasn't married I'd take you back to Cabo with me.
Dana: Yeah, it wasn't Cabo, Ari. It was a Red Roof Inn in Rosarito.
Ari: Well it sure felt like Cabo to me, Dana.