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Character Quotes


Drama: Didn't even offer us a drink. That's a zero for service.
Turtle: But still, I'd give em a ten for amenities if she'd let me service that ass.

Drama: I don't brag to you guys about all my conquests.
Turtle: No. Usually you just lie about em.

Turtle: Yo, E. This is Vince's first cover, I think. Good job, baby.
Drama: Yeah, E. You're en feugo. I may want you to start managing me soon. Why haven't you asked to manage me yet?
Turtle: He's waiting for your new legs to come in, Drama.

Sasha: If you don't make a move soon, Turtle, I'm going to have to.
Alex: He's made moves. We're just taking it slow.
Turtle: Real slow. Like the 405 at rush hour.

Drama: These models must all be cycling together cause they got bad attitudes.
Turtle: You got bad game.
Eric: Oh yeah, yours is pretty good today, too, Turtle.
Turtle: I've given up playing. At this point, I'm just hoping an insecure civilian walks by that I can fuck.

Drama: That is freaking gorgeous! You think I could get on the celebrity tour?
Turtle: If you were a celebrity.

Turtle: And this is the problem with having a hot-looking agent.
Drama: That's the problem with hot-looking women in the workplace in general. They should be barred because no man can say no to them.
Eric: You should run for president on that one, Drama.
Drama: You can't run on the truth, E.

Vince: I guess I'm just not cut out for the fashion world.
Drama: Ah, forget it. That whole world is deviance, bro. The dudes bang each other while the chicks watch. The chicks bang each other while more chicks watch.
Turtle: Yet nobody will let you watch anything.

Turtle: I'm just on edge a little.
Billy: Let me tell you, shoving that poison down your throat's not the remedy.
Turtle: Poison? This is 100% pure agave.

Eric: Wick won't call me back. It's like they don't believe I'm your manager.
Turtle: We don't believe it, why should they?

Turtle: You really think I'm some ugly loser, huh?
Alex: I didn't say that.
Turtle: No, but the first time I tried to kiss you, you looked at me like I was a venereal disease.

Josh: Lots of movie stars do TV! George Clooney did ER, for Christ's sake.
Eric: That was before he was George Clooney. No one goes backwards cause you don't get back to movies.
Turtle: You didn't see Leo in the Growing Pains reunion.

Drama: Come on! Kingmaker! He came home for me 10 to 1 at Belmont. That's how I bought the Lincoln. Any of this ringing a bell?
Vince: Not really.
Turtle: I thought that you bought your Lincoln from selling weed at the high school.
Eric: That rings a bell.

Drama: I move so good, Alex, I should be on Dancing with the Stars.
Turtle: And if you were a star, you probably would be.

Drama: Looks like you're the third wheel now, huh, E?
Turtle: A tiny little spare wheel.

Cassie: Come on. Guys, are you for real, or is this just an act and you're both still trying to get with me?
Drama: Actually, I'm still trying to get with you.
Turtle: Me too. I'm just a way better actor than he is.

Kelly: What do you wanna bet?
Turtle: If I'm right, you go out with me.
Kelly: And if you're wrong?
Turtle: I go out with you.

Alex: I need money now, Turtle.
Turtle: Well, then I hope you're a better waitress than you are a driver.