Character Quotes

Vincent Chase

Vince: As long as the interpreter wasn't making up her own stuff, this guy's got an interesting vision.

Turtle: We accidentally crossed swords.
Eric: Eww.
Vince: Really? Were there any women there at least?
Turtle: Yeah, dick, it was a threesome, okay? It's no biggie. Crossing is an occupational hazard.

Turtle: Are we gonna go cash this?
Vince: Not now. We're on our way to Malibu.
Drama: Malibu? I booked a massage.
Vince: So cancel it. I'll have Turtle give you a rubdown with some Bain de Soleil.

Vince: What are you guys leaving me with that crazy mother for?
Turtle: Looked like you were having fun.
Vince: Lady was nuts. Told me she wanted to take me home and keep me.
Drama: Total lawlessness out here.

Vince: When did you become such a pussy?
Eric: 4-H Camp. '85. You don't remember that? I almost drowned in the undertow.
Vince: Oh yeah? The lake had an undertow?

Eric: I mean, how can I trust anything you say anymore?
Vince: How can I trust you? You're the one eavesdropping. I should have Gavin de Becker come sweep the house for bugs.

Vince: No way that's E's. He knows as much about the rap music business as Willie Nelson.

Eric: You know Sloan, you think she'd do that?
Vince: E, I have a little theory that all women love other women. It's probably because I love all women.

Ari: Will you do something for me? Will you smile? Will you look happy? Will you look cooperative?
Vince: What exactly does cooperative look like?

Ari: Vin, this is not the time to go to Vegas. You've got a serious public image problem right now.
Vince: That's why I'm going, Ari. Hoping by the time I get back everyone will have forgotten about it.

Turtle: Ari does not appreciate the little guy.
Vince: Have I become the little guy?
Turtle: It's just an expression, Vince.

Vince: Look, Amanda, you have to understand that you send some very large scripts.
Eric: It's true. The scripts Ari used to send us are in the 90 to 104-page range. Yours are closer to 140.
Vince: It leaves me no time for skin care.

Amanda: Did you guys like Age of Innocence?
Vince: I don't remember the story but I do remember after seeing it I knew how to hold my fork.

Vince: I don't know what it's called.
Eric: That's what it's called. It's called a Cartier Love Bracelet.
Turtle: Does this mean that Vince and Amanda are in love?
Vince: No, it means E knows way too much about jewelry.

Turtle: I'm hungry.
Vince: Me too.
Turtle: Should I try to make us something?
Vince: Not that hungry.

Vince: She doesn't have my number. I gave her the one-digit-off move.
Eric: That's a girl move.
Vince: It's the whoever's-being-treated-like-meat move.

Vince: What, no one's going to hire me until they see Medellin?
Ari: I wouldn't say no one. You could play Jughead in the new Archie live action.
Vince: I think I'm more of a Reggie.

Billy: I wanna get my balls licked later.
Vince: Can't help you there, Billy.