Episode Quotes

S01E04, Date Night

Turtle: You should call her, Vince. It's destiny. Besides, she has got a great ass.
Eric: Oh yeah, that's a great idea, Turtle. Have her catch a ride out here with the Kevorkian guy from Michigan who wants Vince to kill him.

Turtle: Where'd you meet her, Drama? Barry Bonds' hearing?

Vince: I told you. I don't wanna see the movie. I can't watch myself again.
Drama: I love watching myself.
Eric: Too bad the audience doesn't.

Vince: You know, I haven't been on a real date since high school.
Drama: Yeah, that's because nobody dates in LA, Vince. It's a waste of time.
Turtle: And money.
Drama: LA lives between two and five AM. You take a lap through the talent pool, catch and release.

Turtle: Online's even better. You get the small talk out of the way so when they show up, they're good to go.
Eric: Name one girl you ever pulled off the internet.
Turtle: There's all sorts of confidentiality agreements with these sites, all right? I ain't tellin you shit.

Ari: I had video sex with an Ecuadorian girl this morning.
Eric: I hope she was 18. Federal offense if not.
Ari: She had big teeth and a sarong. That's all I remember, baby.

Drama: Yo, you cats goin to see Head On?
Moviegoer: Nah, man, we're goin to see that talking squirrel thang.
Turtle: Fuck that movie, I saw it this morning. The mother squirrel dies in the end. See Head On.

Justine: I think I want you to be my first.
Vince: Really?
Justine: Yeah, but you're really gonna have to work for it.
Vince: Work? Come on. I got into this business so I don't have to work.

Ari: No tequila? Tara Reid steal it? Let's get into it, we gotta celebrate!

Ari: You're on fire, baby, we gotta get your next movie. Wanna do Hindenburg? Script's comin in. It's like Titanic on a blimp.

Turtle: Where's Tanya?
Drama: Doing push-ups in the mens bathroom for all I know. I'm done with that girl.