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S02E02, My Maserati Does 185

Drama: When finally fucking your own girlfriend, one should travel in style.

Ari: I paid two grand for these seats! I'll get out there and launch a three if I want.

Vince: I don't want to end up doing the same role for the rest of my life.
Eric: He doesn't wanna get typecast.
Ari: Look it - there's The Joker, there's Batman, there's Spider-Man. They're all typecast... as rich guys.

Vince: Johnny, what's up with you and the legs?
Turtle: He thinks his are too thin.
Drama: I'm reading for Point Dume tomorrow... I'm a little stressed.
Turtle: I'd be more concerned about your face, Drama.

Jaime: You're kind of invited too.
Ari: Thank you. You know, I'd love to show up but it's actually anal sex night at the Gold house, so... but thank you for the invite. I'm gonna go home and punish my wife.

Eric: I'm not miserable. I'm pissed I got stuck with a $400 hotel room.
Vince: Ohh... Peninsula has a 24-hour cancellation policy.
Turtle: You should at least go jerk off on the bed, man. I mean, if you gotta pay for it...

Drama: Let me get this straight... she convinces you to get these extravagant accommodations... and then she bails?
Eric: She didn't bail. She got sick. Before the date, unlike your girls who get sick when they arrive.

Vince: Look... you tell someone you cheated if you want to break up with them. Otherwise it's just a selfish way to get rid of your own guilt.
Turtle: Well said, Vince.

Drama: I'm like the tide, baby. I come and go as I please.

Ari: Anyone who puts Gwenyth's head in a box is okay by me.
Vince: Still bitter, huh? After all these years.
Ari: You know what? I fired her.

Vince: Yep. He bought Kristen jewelry and he's confessing tonight.
Ari: No, no, no. No confession. Do you read the papers, you idiot? You hear about this guy? He confessed to a murder in 1973 with no clues... yeah, they're gonna give him 25 years. Shut your mouth, do not say a word or you will just end up being gang-banged by a bunch of cholos.

Turtle: That's not confessing, all right? That's rubbin it in her face. Good for you, E.
Drama: Nah, you shoulda held out. Made her stew in her own guilt until it broke her.

Vince: Listen. Why don't you call Leanna tonight? Take her out. You're a free man now.
Eric: Nah, man, forget that girl. The only reason she was with me is cause I'm your manager.
Turtle: So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve?
Drama: All of it.