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S02E07, The Sundance Kids

Vince: Hey, E. You sure Cameron's comin? I don't see his name on any of these signs.
Eric: Ah, it's in the bag. Probably cleaning the wings of his 767 right now.
Drama: Yeah or maybe he's got some new vehicle that burrows its way through the center of the Earth.

Drama: What do I get? In Palm Springs I had a king size bed all to myself.
Eric: Yeah, he tried to bang a bunch of senior citizens but he's a non-closer.

Eric: Do you think the night before a Mormon wedding the guy says "how am I gonna sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"
Drama: Hey, I've been married. Lovin one girl right is tough enough. Lovin eight would be impossible.

Vince: I don't know. What if I get divorced? Paying alimony would be a killer.
Turtle: Nah, Vince, cause they don't get half. They only get an eighth.
Eric: They get a ninth, moron, or else Vince would get left with nothing.
Vince: Good looking out, E. You're always saving me money.

Eric: I did a little more than take initiative. I got us a lunch. 2:50 today.
Ari: 2:50? Everyone knows 2:50 is a jerkoff meeting. What is he gonna do, clear his throat until the 3:00 comes?
Eric: Well I guess you don't have to worry about it cause he said not to bring you.
Ari: Not to bring me? Really? Well, without me, he'd be producing Kevin Smith movies for the rest of his life.

Harvey: I know about Cameron. The big shaygetz is coming tomorrow, the big Jew is here today.

Ari: You don't come to Sundance for the snow. You come for the heat.

Eric: Well, what are you hearing about the Gosling and Franco movies? They good?
Ari: I hear that they're great. I hear that every movie at Sundance is the best movie that was ever made.

Drama: You know, Cassie, you've inspired me. I'm not gonna join the Corps, per se, but I think when I get home I'm gonna log in some time downtown at the soup kitchen.
Turtle: You know, every time I see a homeless person, I cry. Seriously.

Cassie: Come on. Guys, are you for real, or is this just an act and you're both still trying to get with me?
Drama: Actually, I'm still trying to get with you.
Turtle: Me too. I'm just a way better actor than he is.

Turtle: We accidentally crossed swords.
Eric: Eww.
Vince: Really? Were there any women there at least?
Turtle: Yeah, dick, it was a threesome, okay? It's no biggie. Crossing is an occupational hazard.

Ari: Guess who just closed a deal on the new Osmond pay-per-view Christmas special? NC17, baby. Gonna get Marie to undo the top button.

Shauna: I'm sure it's great. Have you shown it to anybody?
Billy: Me, my editor, and my mother.
Shauna: Yeah? What'd your mother think?
Billy: She thought it was garbage, but she's a fuckin moron.

Harvey: You little shitbag! You wanted a job for Vince and now you fucked me?! Do you know who I am?! You're gonna beg to get back into the pizza business!
Eric: I'm just trying to do what's best -
Harvey: Ah, fuck you! You and that fucking kid! The two of you are about to go down a river of shit!

Drama: Four hours long and they cut me out of the whole fucking movie.
Alejandro: But the line you spoke was delivered with such angst, Johnny.
Drama: Thank you, Alejandro. I do have an abundance of that.