Episode Quotes

S02E08, Oh, Mandy

Turtle: How do they not have Fruit Loops?
Drama: You can't get anything in Malibu because it's impossible to get deliveries.
Eric: You make it like we're in the Far East, Drama.
Drama: Trust me, I know Malibu. One second there's no Fruit Loops, the next a mudslide is slinging a 400-pound boulder through your dining room.

Drama: This is kind of embarrassing. Sometimes I wake up in the morning fully tented. Any advice?
Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, at your age, consider yourself lucky.
Drama: My age? How fucking old do you think I am?

Drama: Who wants to take a ride into town with me?
Vince: Sorry, Johnny. Got a scuba lesson. Take Turtle.
Turtle: Aw, come on, Vince. I don't want to miss scuba. You know how buoyant I am.

Turtle: Yo, Rufus. Thanks for doing this so quick.
Rufus: Yeah, it was nothin. I just repoed all of this shit out of Don Johnson's house anyway. You know that motherfucker tried to pay me with signed Nash Bridges DVDs?

Ari: Door number two is a list.
Vince: What list?
Ari: James Cameron's list for Aquagirl. Five of the hottest actresses on the planet. One of which you will be stuck in a water tank with for nine months. Even if you look like our skim-milk-colored friend E, here, you still have a good shot of swimming in between her legs.

Vince: No, no, wait, E. Save it for the beach. Have something to talk to the guys about.
Ari: You guys don't talk about politics at the beach?

Turtle: Are we gonna go cash this?
Vince: Not now. We're on our way to Malibu.
Drama: Malibu? I booked a massage.
Vince: So cancel it. I'll have Turtle give you a rubdown with some Bain de Soleil.

Vince: What are you guys leaving me with that crazy mother for?
Turtle: Looked like you were having fun.
Vince: Lady was nuts. Told me she wanted to take me home and keep me.
Drama: Total lawlessness out here.

Ari: You've got Gold.
Dana: Do you really answer the phone like that or did you see it was me?

Dana: Look, I have a little heads up, okay? But it's for your ears only. Swear you won't tell anyone.
Ari: Did I tell anyone that your first girl-girl sex was with someone from Must See TV in '95?
Dana: Okay, Ari, please.
Ari: Spill it. I'll swallow a Cyanide tablet if they capture me.

Vince: When did you become such a pussy?
Eric: 4-H Camp. '85. You don't remember that? I almost drowned in the undertow.
Vince: Oh yeah? The lake had an undertow?

Drama: I'm gonna tell Davies I want a say in who's playing my love interest.
Shauna: Why don't you get Lorenzo Lamas, Drama?

Vince: So you're telling me she'll pass on a James Cameron movie if it's awkward?
Eric: Jesus Christ, Vince. What'd you do to this girl?
Vince: Nothing. Shauna, you remember.
Shauna: I remember you living on the breakup diet of canned tuna and saltines. You dropped 15 pounds. You looked like fuckin Adrien Brody in The Pianist.

Vince: Rufus, you don't like the shirt?
Drama: Vince, that shirt dulls the sparkle in your eyes. If I was you, I'd go with blue Faconnable. It says, "hello, I'm here, and I'm doing fine without ya."