Episode Quotes

S03E06, Three's Company

Eric: Hey, Ari. How was dinner with Alan?
Drama: Ask him if he found me a job yet.
Ari: Dinner was great. Tell Drama he's on my to-do list right after inserting needles in my cock.

Turtle: The girl was cold.
Drama: Ice cold.
Eric: Why? Because you guys couldn't close?
Turtle: Couldn't close... she said she doesn't date. Brad Pitt couldn't close her.

Drama: Did you hear what she said when I offered to buy her a drink?
Turtle: No, what?
Drama: "No thank you."
Eric: What a bitch.

Turtle: I'm so whackin off to your girlfriend tonight.
Eric: Loser.
Drama: I was plannin on whackin off to Vince's girl, but this definitely tops that.

Lloyd: Sorry, Drama, I don't have Ari anymore.
Drama: You just had him for Vince.
Lloyd: Yeah but then you told me that Vince was sleeping, and now I lost him. But tell Vince to please call Ari when he wakes up and I'll have him again.

Eric: You know Sloan, you think she'd do that?
Vince: E, I have a little theory that all women love other women. It's probably because I love all women.

Drama: Take this seriously, E. When opportunity knocks, let her the fuck in. And for God's sakes, let her go down on your girlfriend.

Ari: You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job. I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback apes. If there are cameras rolling, everybody wins.

Turtle: I know you're not a big porn guy, but the innovations since the DVD are pretty amazing. Remember back in the day you'd be tuggin it and they'd cut to a closeup of the guy's face and you wanted to kill yourself? Never again. Multi-angles.

Ari: You know what? It's too late for sorries. Vince is out, Jake Gyllenhaal is in. Brokeback motherfuckin Aquaman. Take that, bitch.