Episode Quotes

S03E09, Vegas Baby, Vegas!

Eric: Have I ever said "no" to Vegas?
Turtle: Be like saying "no" to a blowjob.

Ari: Vin, this is not the time to go to Vegas. You've got a serious public image problem right now.
Vince: That's why I'm going, Ari. Hoping by the time I get back everyone will have forgotten about it.

Turtle: You shoulda partnered up with me, Ari. I'm up $1,200. I get to two grand, I'm keepin it stashed to buy me a high-class ho.
Vince: But Turtle, I already gave you $10,000.
Turtle: I only pay for pussy with profits.

Turtle: This is a tough competition, girls. And what, with the $25,000 prize, everybody needs an edge. Fortunately for you, I left my integrity back in Los Angeles. My vote is 100% for sale.

Drama: How relaxed do I look?
Turtle: Yeah. You look like you died in 1983.

Turtle: You don't want strippers at dinner because your gay masseuse is joining us? I'm really starting to worry about you, Drama.
Drama: Please, Turtle, Ken is not gay. In fact, if I release him on the strippers tonight, you're going to be shit out of luck.

Seth: Oh, it's Vinnie Chase and the Chasers! Let me get a couple more Jager shots for the boys from Queens over there.
Eric: No thanks.
Seth: Whats the matter? You don't drink, Eric?
Eric: I drink Vodka, Seth. I stopped drinking Jager in high school.

Turtle: That's Amber. Country girl. Promised me three days in her father's cabin in Montana if she wins.
Vince: Turtle, I know it's a stripper contest, but I can't pick someone because she promised to fuck you.
Turtle: I don't care who wins. I cut deals with all of em!