Episode Quotes

S03E14, Dog Day Afternoon

Vince: Ohh, that's why Arnold looks so spiffy.
Turtle: You know it, baby.
Eric: Yeah, you guys should have groomed yourselves.
Drama: Please. E, in certain cultures it's illegal to look this good.

Lloyd: So why am I going?
Ari: Because he's a queen just like you. He's never had a straight agent, and if I'm going to be his first, I have to show him that I am a friend to the gay man.
Lloyd: But you're not a friend to the gay man, Ari.
Ari: Lloyd, this is the big one. So just go grab your best dress and know that today your love of cock is a huge asset to this company.

Turtle: What do you say we start with Little Ms. Fluffy Poodle over there?
Drama: That's not a poodle, Turtle, that's a lhasa apso.
Turtle: Yeah? Whatever. Check out the ass on the broad walking it.
Drama: She's not for us. Lhasa apsos are very finicky dogs and finicky dogs have finicky owners. And finicky owners wait two weeks before they even give you a tug.

Drama: I've got blue balls so bad my dick feels like it's going to break off.

Jay: I'm very sorry to hear that, Ari. Because I've wined him, I've dined him, and if he's not coming home with me tonight, these papers aren't getting signed.
Ari: That is actually fine with me. Cause you know what? We may be whores at my agency, but we ain't pimps.

Drama: You couldn't let it die, could you Turtle? You just couldn't keep your mouth shut.
Turtle: I can't take a girl over Arnold, Drama. He's like a brother in arms.
Drama: Is that brother gonna help you with them blue balls?