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Episode Quotes

S05E12, Return to Queens Blvd

Vince: She's a lawyer.
Turtle: Correct me if I'm wrong, but was that lawyer giving you a tug?
Drama: In LA you can only get an actress or a hooker to do that. God I love this motherfucking town!

Rita: What? She doesn't cook for you anymore?
Turtle: Sadly, my mom's cooking has gone to shit. And it started at crap.

Drama: I can give you plenty of advice on how to audition, bro.
Turtle: He needs advice on how to successfully audition.
Drama: I've booked my fair share of jobs, jerkoff, including this one right here.
Turtle: 1 in 1,000,000's not the odds we're looking for.

Rita: Let's just say Vince may be starring in Gus Van Sant's new movie.
Ronnie: Hey, Drama, you gonna be in that movie, too?
Turtle: The closest he's getting to Gus Van Sant is whacking it to My Own Private Idaho.

Vince: Who told you?
Kara: Us Weekly.
Vince: You read Us Weekly? Future MBA? God, that is so sad.

Eric: I know he can do this. Please. Just take a look at the scenes.
Gus: So you're kinda desperate?
Eric: That doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Ronnie: Come on, Drama. Think about all the great times we had at this place. '94, game six, John Starks... come on, you remember.
Drama: I do, I do, and I remember coming here and trying to forget game seven.

Ari: Jesus, is this what you call a New York vacation? Where's the glamour? Where's the bitches?

Ari: Don't thank me, thank E. For once in his life, the little McNugget delivered.