S06E03, One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car
Eric: You of all people should now how stressful a test screening can be.
Drama: Well, I'm on a hit series now. Test screenings are long behind me, so sorry if I can't coagulate with you.
Vince: Um... I don't think you're using that word properly, Johnny.
Turtle: My mother's mean.
Drama: She always was. Remember your thirteenth birthday? She got you a Weight Watchers membership.
Turtle: Didn't until now.
Turtle: Vin, I can't take this. It's a $200,000 car.
Vince: 240, actually, but I'm playing Enzo Ferrari, so I got 10% off.
Turtle: Seriously, I don't feel right about this.
Vince: I didn't feel right about the last car I gave you getting repossessed.
Eric: What am I supposed to do, Ari?
Ari: E, it's real simple. You stay on as producer or you walk out of pride. Either way, Charlie's going.
Eric: This is unbelievable.
Ari: Take heart. I mean, you produce 100 episodes of even mediocre television and you can send the kid a Gulfstream to cry on.
Turtle: It's birthday blues, I guess.
Drama: You've got a hot car and a hot girlfriend coming over. What do you have to be blue about?
Turtle: It's my birthday. I can be whatever color I want.
Vince: E's M.I.A.
Drama: Maybe he's just so small that nobody can find him.
Turtle: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute.
Ari: Talk to me about what?
Turtle: Career advice.
Ari: But you don't have a career.
Turtle: Sup, Lloyd?
Lloyd: Hello, Mr... Turtle.
Ari: When my son was born, my greatest fear was having this conversation. I knew that I would give him anything he wanted because he was my son and I couldn't say no. Which sucks, cause it wouldn't help him, and he'd just end up on the street doing heroin with the two Coreys because I was too much of a pussy to teach him a lesson. I won't make that mistake with you.
Ashley: You're very persuasive when you want to be.
Eric: You think?
Ashley: Well, I wanted to go home with Drama the night we met.
Ari: What I'm capable of doing and what you're capable of doing are two totally different things.
Eric: Well, what would you do?
Ari: I would make a scene of biblical proportions. I would lie, scream, beg, borrow, and steal. And if that somehow didn't part Amy Miller's legs, then I would call racism. And I would yell for all to hear, "you're really going to fire my poor black client off the show he created? I'm calling the NAACP, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and the ghost of my man, Malcolm X!"
Turtle: You're really not going to get me a gift?
Drama: No, I'm really not. Because grown men shouldn't buy other grown men birthday gifts unless they're fucking.