Ari: Jesus Christ, you all suck. If I didn't have a five-year lease on this place, I'd shut it down and work out of a cardboard box by myself.
Ari: Hey, dickhead. What's the beef?
Drama: No beef. I just wish you would put as much effort into my career as you do your own.
Ari: That sounds... reasonable.
Drama: You know, I did the fall down the steps myself on My So-Called Life. It was very liberating.
Turtle: Your brain hasn't worked right since.
Ari: Raj! Go buy Jessica a new cockapoo. And Steph, tell Ryan the reason I don't have time to play poker is because I spend my life in here being bored to death by you people.
Ari: Are your impending nuptials making you tense?
Eric: No, not at all. I actually feel great about it.
Ari: Well, that's natural. It'll pass.
Mrs. Ari: I like it when we do these things together.
Ari: Well, tell the school that when they schedule a parent-teacher conference for 2:30 on a weekday, that's just their way of saying "we don't care about Daddy."
Ari: Maybe they don't wanna make a show with you, Drama.
Drama: They gave me a holding deal.
Ari: The guy who grills my hot dog at Carney's had a holding deal in 1978.
Phil: This is all cause they're making The Fall Guy?
Drama: You told me they weren't making it.
Phil: No I did not. I said it wasn't happening with you. They wanted someone... prettier.
Drama: And Dean Cain is prettier than me?
Vince: Wow. You all think I'm such a pussy. All right. I'm gonna call the studio and tell them I'm doing it.
Eric: Vince, you're gonna do the stunt for what? So these guys don't think you're a pussy?
Vince: No. I'm going to do it so I stop feeling like one.
Ari: I'm going to take you away for the weekend. I'll get a plane. We'll go to Cabo. We'll stay in Meldman's. I'm gonna get you a nice lobster from Edith's...
Mrs. Ari: Really?
Ari: No, not really. I got the company retreat this weekend. I totally forgot.
Eric: You nervous?
Vince: My hand's shaking a little, but I'll be okay. What's the worse that could happen?
Drama: Vic Morrow got his head chopped off by a helicopter.
Turtle: Brandon Lee got shot with squibs.
Ari: I saw my life flash before my eyes.
Vince: I didn't. I just saw Ma. And she was really pissed.