S07E04, Tequila Sunrise
Scotty: Are you really worried that I'm going to steal your client?
Eric: He's not just my client. He's my best friend since I'm five years old.
Scotty: Oh, so you're worried I'm going to steal your best friend. You can't compete with me there, Eric! I'm way more fun than you are! I'm single! You are old and an almost-married man. Let youth be served.
Vince: You're not really nervous about this meeting are you, Johnny?
Drama: Yeah, bro, of course I am. That's why I thought I'd host him here. And maybe you could meet him and he could see the place and really get a feel for what I'm all about.
Turtle: And you can show him you can play the ugly brother in real life, too.
Jake: Ari, you don't have to be nervous. You're gonna do great.
Ari: What are you, my life coach?
Jake: No, I just -
Ari: Don't try to get intimate with me, Jake. It makes me uncomfortable.
Jake: Should I call security?
Ari: No, no. I'll speak to her.
Jake: Is that wise?
Ari: Send them off with sweetness, Jake. Hopefully you won't have to taste my sugar anytime soon.
Ari: I'm preparing a nice severance package for you. You don't want me angry when I'm writing you a check, do you?
Lizzie: No, I don't. What I want you to do is shove that severance package up your fucking ass.
Ari: If you were my daughter -
Lizzie: If I was your daughter I would blow my fucking brains out!
Scotty: Jesus fucking Christ, Eric. Don't be afraid to knock. Okay? Sometimes I like to start my day off with a nice whack.
Eric: You have a glass office.
Scotty: Yeah, I mentally block that out.
Ari: Shawne Merriman, a surprise. Good to see you, sir.
Shawne: Hey, I'm a free agent this year. I thought I'd sit in.
Ari: Listen, the more the Merriman.
Alex: You are such a lightweight.
Turtle: I had eight shots! Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me? Cause I don't have to be drunk for you to do that.
Ari: Call my wife. I may even take her to dinner. And you go to dinner, as well... on me. You got a girl?
Jake: Not right now.
Ari: Well, you want cash for a hooker? Either way.
Ari: Andrew! What a tragic time for you to be calling. I just landed an NFL team in Los Angeles. And if you didn't blow your entire career up your nose, you'd be banging cheerleaders up in a luxury box with us.
Alex: Stay tonight. Sleep on it. Then we'll go to the factory in the morning. It'll blow you away.
Turtle: Are we sleeping on it together?
Alex: I don't want you to think I did it for the wrong reasons.
Turtle: I don't care why you do it.
Scotty: Your brother's the John McEnroe of ping pong.